Writing added from Jason's diary, 'Jayonism or Jayquantity', my faith belief .

[Jason Mills]

Friday,  3rd December 2010

 

 

Dearest Jay!

                                Once recently when I woke up on the morning I would look out the bedroom window and I could remember seeing the streets around the neighborhood wet from snow on the grounds. I smiled as I could see the nature and people walking by, I got many thoughts from my imagination towards life. It made me smile greatly as for the people walking by my area made me form all sorts of fictional stories for them from their lives, it just made me imagine what their lives may be like compared to my own.  It makes me wonder all sorts of mysterious things that could happen in everyone’s lives. During that morning I got ready and brought Patch for a walk in the snow, for a moment all these sorts of thoughts and visualized daydreams clicked into my head about religion. If you notice religion today only brings misunderstanding and wars on each other, when really it’s about bringing   peace and building connections with all people to make equality in the world. So I imagined a different level   of faith in my life. The name I remember imagining was called ‘ Jayquantity equality’.  I remember having these thoughts of all faithful beliefs combined together in a more accepted and creative way  to show people’s respect in their own individual beliefs, not  religious beliefs. I always believed religion was about people’s faith towards what they believed in, but these days in this lifetime I see people trying to find some superior purpose from the other  and then disagreements with another race over right and wrong, when truly we can never understand what truly awaits for us in the afterlife… But I believe it’s good to be cheerful  and believe in each and other and live life to the full moments with people you love, and not worry about another stage of lifetimes after we leave this world. What this world truly needs is peace and equality, but I’m afraid for the moment life isn’t fair. I just imagine people who are good and accretive  towards other people shall find true beauty and happiness in the end, it all depends on our inner selves, there is no point trying to resist other people. I think  it’s good to give everyone a chance and find who they really are within themselves, that way you’ll find something  more believable and beautiful than worries or anxiety towards after we die.  It’s easy saying ‘I’m right and your wrong’, through religious terms, but truly it’s not like that, it all depends how we feel from the soul and heart towards others, that way divine things shall exist for you in the other worlds. I know it seems so unrealistic how I can say this, but whatever we believe at heart matters most to ourselves, which makes each one of us special and equal as another.

Okay, how can I best describe my belief… Let’s imagine life after death. Well I still believe we all have a deep connection with each other  and our ancestors from the spirit world. I believe our souls and spirit is connected with gods and nature  from other planets and worlds beyond the unknown. We are all in control  towards what we do in the afterlife, if that is staying on earth through spirit or reborn again as something else, or even spiritual travel to other existences beyond the stars.  These souls who decide to stay and watch over their past loved ones are guardians, these are spirits who want to wait for their loved ones for the day they move on from life and death. I hate the word ‘death’, but it’s the only word human know today.

Angels are truly amazing and beautiful beings, they come from the mysterious and divine existence beyond infinite, in a big kingdom/place some people  like to call heaven. Angels were human once before on earth, but they choose to move on from this planet and go beyond their belief through goodness. All angels are good, they are like human spirits but they are more powerful and are messengers and creators beyond heaven. All angels have specific tasks in helping people who die towards their own world’s where their soul is destined to be or belong with. Some angels are healers, well their all healers actually,  they can make human spirits see optimistic sides towards life. Some people who live today on earth can see these beings through  human form with wings, and sometimes without wings. Sometimes when an angel is born on earth as a person they appear to be ordinary people with good souls that make people and their surroundings feel reassured and healed as they can make people see the world in a better point of view, but unfortunately  some angels forget their purpose in being an angel as they live as humans, but the goodness of their soul still predominates within them secretly, because their goodness always shines around other people and this world that’s created itself. Sadly angels can never understand what it’s like to be human, even when they are ones themselves.

Also there are bad spirits too, there is nothing powerful about these beings, but they give humans and the world bad and yet negative energy of vibes on each other. Mostly these beings come in contact with people through rational thought, not physically from the view of a body, but yet there seems to be known cases about possession, but I think maybe that can be mental illness towards people who are extremely religious, but maybe a demon can possess people when their inner soul and energy is easily lead to bad paths of life. When u really think of it, possession today is physically like negative peer pressure and even bad  addictive things, like drinking alcohol and drugs. I think the main reason people smoke is because these individuals feel  part of groups and comfort inside from them, but sadly it damages people’s lives more or less. But anyway maybe demons/bad souls within people take over their chance of good and makes them thoughtful towards negative things, such as been jealous and fighting against good people. I wonder do people realize badness not only takes over a moment in their life but also inside their soul, and it brings them closer to an unconscious world of bad and evil. I can’t visualize anything in particular in this place, all I can imagine is a very dark world with no stars in the sky or suns to brighten our days for the clouds above, a dark world full of screams of horror and laughing  voices in a very deep  tone, all screaming at the same time from that individual person’s voice itself. More likely, this evil place was like going into a deep sleep and as you close your eyes, all you can see is complete darkness and yet you can still hear voices from the surroundings you face, like lying in bed hearing  your own surroundings.

But that’s all I can imagine towards evil.. full of darkness and complete  emptiness, which means to me no caring feelings what’s so ever. The greatest thing about all this is that good and god always wins against bad and the devil. I am certainly glad I don’t believe in the devil or badness because that would make me easily lead to depression  and bad paths of life, and I can’t do that.  I’ve got to follow the good path that life on earth has to offer me for all us human beings. If you notice  we’re all travellers  in life, all trying to find what we deserve in life, people today search for love, fortune, success etc. if only those people realized that  searching for those things will never happen, it all comes to people  when they make good choices in life, not searching but finding. We all have a destiny and purpose in life, but all them meaning of life are in our own hands to choose from. All people really got to do is listen to their heart and soul and they shall find the goal for what their  aim is to follow. I’d imagine a different religion, a religion that is all for the whole human race, where people can share their own beliefs and faith with everyone from all differences.  When you really think of it all, people are not as different as   they  think  because we’re all human beings here together in this world, and we can’t forget that.  Life would be so much easier if people all came together  and realized what true religion is, a religion where everybody can connect together  as we’d all realize ‘it’s better this way’, because now we all have a deeper beloved world and with god or whatever the concepts of people’s faith. Even sometimes I wonder if gods truly exist in the afterlife, but yet if there was I hope I hope they’re not like rulers  in this world who control the economy politically. I’d imagine if there was a god that he/she would be in the human form image of us all. Even if people don’t believe in god  their inner faith still exists elsewhere towards their own special existence beyond the stars through the realm and deeper beyond other dimensional planets. But when people die or whatever, they don’t travel through a body, they travel through spirit and sometimes if they believe they can  have a guardian angel or spirit guide from their past family ancestors to show them the way. But usually its angelic guides that really do this job because sometimes people in certain families have different unique beliefs, and yet a unique soul compared to their human parents. When you notice   it really as we are all born as babies in the world, our parents task was to show us a different and better world than it already is now. That’s why most parents get this powerful connection with their own blood and image from the child. Immediately good parents would love their youngsters  the moment they’re children are conceived. I still remember the moments when I was born, well not exactly as a born baby, but I remember what my surroundings  were like when I arrived in this world. I remember crying in some way to try and get my families attention and they looked delightful when having me, and as I lay  down on the couch with a small blanket wrapped around me, I could see an angel looking directly at me with amazement as it was in the corner  of the room. The angel had very bright skin with light blue eyes and had dark hair, his soul and body was radiant as always. At that moment I put up my small hand and the angel reached for mine and light came from around my body and gave me such an over powering feeling.  That’s all I can remember, as I grew older my experience with seeing spiritual beings physically faded away because my intelligence changed to what humans wanted me to believe. I think everyone has that   experience with spirituality when they are young and growing up and starting in the world. Sometimes people can believe as children that they have imaginary friends, but truly they have guides showing them fun in secret, which makes it so beautiful and wonder to other people. My grandmother Geraldine told me that she seen her father spiritually one night in her bedroom, ten minutes later someone told her that her father had died. Ten minutes later someone in nanny’s family told her that her father had died, passed away. Easily nanny didn’t know the purpose of this, no one really does but he had been guiding my nanny through a spirit guide for quite some time, he had been in the spiritual realm but he still had the connection from his soul from his past family relatives. But at the start he came to my grandmother Geraldine to tell her that he had gone and left this planet and passed over to the next, he had to leave for quite some time until he was ready to guide his family again, he had to tell someone in his family that he was safe and at peace and he came to nanny, but he wouldn’t have said things to my nanny in words but through spirit appearance the answers would remain from the view of his spiritual visit, that’s why sometimes many spirits wait in purgatory for some time because they need to be at peace and ready to go on, but they need to let go of  their physical being and relationships with their past life families, loved ones , friends. After that they can willfully move on to the next existence, it’s just sometimes spirits somehow refuse to leave without giving their friends a sign. He probably guides his family today when he learned how to have the power to have guidance and have his energy and connection with his family, even though  his actual soul and spirit would remain in the spiritual realm and his feelings of energy in the physical world, I wonder does that make sense. Many families and loved ones today could have the same connection with all kinds of people, some people we know  in this world now   and  the spiritual beings from our past lives before we were all human have the same powerful connection, from both sides on earth and space. I  can imagine these new worlds after this life would be filled with spirits or even souls together in this unexpected dimensional world beyond space and time.  I can visualize that these spirits are filled with aura colors around them or even soul colors that fills this new world with true beauty  from within, it’s like a human having skin surrounding their bones. I see that there is clouds everywhere  and spirits and angels are  moving around  with such a beautiful embrace as they flow around these planets, like ice skating through the clouds with spirits hand in hand showing such connected love and it shows that love does not come with gender or appearance from what people appear to be. I can visualize each night as I sleep  in my dreams that these spirits are slow dancing  in peace and showing passion as they fly like falling stars across the distance  to other worlds of their own as I can feel musical and the sound of angels singing with their heavenly voices to those who feel loved. I once imagined in my dreams that I was spiritually slow dancing with Jamie across these worlds with him, as it felt like time stood still and he looked deeply into my eyes and I saw the true love he had for me because his soul was like the brightness of the radiated sun from his happiness with him. In this dream I seen a beautiful angel by our sides and this angel took mine and Jamie’s soul and collided us together and I felt this overwhelming desire of love for him, it was as if we were making love to each other but more connected and powerful. As we stood floating in the darkness above space, I could see twinkling stars surrounding us, these stars were the radiating and shining goodness of angel’s faces looking down on earth, Jamie looked at me and said how is this happening and I told him that I had to show him the way, and I told him this is where all people belong. All these souls and spirits in the heavenly existence are beautifully connected and they all look magical and in a different form  than people would live and do in this world, and all people’s past and future ancestors are all happily together. Yet some people choose to forget their past lives  as a human on planet earth. I somehow see that there is no limit  towards   how many world’s that may exist, but it’s like a choice of belief or destiny  of feeling  in people themselves  and this belief can change or increase towards a more powerful reason, but today on earth I see people fighting against another, sadly they all don’t truly know that their all true in religion terms in some way, but yet our conscious  or soul travels through  a realm ,which world they prefer  must to them. It’s like choosing a direction or path from what your heart most desires.   It’s like even been born on earth, our soul travels through the inner cells of our loved parents  and then we exist physically as human beings. Heaven to me  was like the world I existed upon before this world, and god created our souls, actually no he didn’t create them because his soul was also created like ours, but ‘god’  was created as a powerful leader and creator. It’s still a mystery how we all evolve spiritually, but I’d rather not know because I find it wonderful not knowing until the time comes when I will find the answers by myself, when I spiritually leave this world. Gods to me are powerful souls and friendly leaders and creators of other worlds from all religion beliefs from different groups in all equal paths together. They all have a resemblance path as humans do. I think our own destined god is our leader that gives us a certain quality through a soul for a great purpose of why we live, but this god would have been human once before too, just like us but become much more powerful and protective through magnificence of goodness that pours through all of us as he tries to defeat all the badness, but all this god can truly do is give people the power through feelings of emotions, what I mean is sometimes people would feel guided or good inside over no specific reason, this could be from our guardian or god. All these gods are bringing us through different purposes but these opportunities can only be made by ourselves, sometimes souls can choose to be outsiders, these are souls from the underworld they would want no connection with god and have that emptiness, which leaves them in a universe of discovery or a destined path of their own creations. They give all people a difference in everything, different nationality, style of spirit, a soul color and more special inner beauty that creates all our true qualities within. The personality and appearance of humans on the outside of their bodies that people view through human comprehension  are based on our DNA and blood samples of our parents and families that made us appear as humans through genetics of our parents that makes us have some resemblance of our bodies as our parents would.  So really we’re all connected together in a great way in every quality of life and beyond it all.  I named  my faith ‘Jayquantity equality’ because it’s my own unique belief and faith that all religions are perfectly  adapted in some way from  a certain individual soul and heart that gives us feelings. What I mean is my faith comes from my inner soul adaption from it all,  not common sense from the human comprehension of religion and the bible  that people  normally believe through religious rules. Also I usually see today that some individuals are brought into religious families from what their ancestors believed in, which may be nice in some ways, but to me on my own belief and even opinion, that all these beliefs and meanings of faith is depending truthfully on the person’s soul, not our families choices through past influences. So if anyone had other beliefs towards different paths than their family, I would believe their spirit is like some new form of generation from a higher or different existence in a separate spirit world created in a different dimension, which I think means their soul is from another existence through a realm than their own family’s past ancestor memorial.  The reason I’m writing all this nuisance  is simply because I’m born catholic and yet a proud catholic in that form of belief… But I somehow believe in other and more spiritual concepts and ways in my faith  towards god and the afterlife than my brought up religious group. Maybe I even have different beliefs towards heaven in a way all religious people can adapt and combine together because I believe I have faith in people who are also different than I am because I always respect people for who they are, as they all have different personalities/souls, features/bodies/nationalities, and many other things.  I think all us human beings are destined to be the way we are every day and that when we all make mistakes and wrong decisions, I would look back or even view beyond things and think to myself about the positive side of things… After a while I would come to realize  it’s all part of people’s nature and being ordinary human beings that they would show their inner souls correctly  in this big wide world earth.  I think it would never make a difference even if people try and be like others because I would sometimes find that impossible to be true as we all have a unique soul and entity and conscious  that some people can develop following and express truthfully when they find the right goal that suits them best, it’s like our true talents and feelings towards life as we all live through  a universe of all different kinds of entities and embraced beauty of souls  that come together in one world within the bodies of living things in this one world that is our living home in one living world!

Anyways as I had all them thoughts during my walk with my dog Patch, it truly amazed me that I felt full of life and ambitious towards my own destined goals. I then went into town to meet Rose and Lucy and I expressed some of those written feelings  with them that came to me through the silence of peace  and answers of nature and yet the answers within my heart. All I had to do through understanding it was to listen to my inner self. Rose and Lucy  were both stunned and they said they thought people would be amazed with my ideas and beliefs towards life. It all made me happy when they all accepted my path, but it also makes me wonder if the world could combine together and follow and accept the differences and memory of my faith that I named ‘Jayquantity equality’!

Yours, Jason!

Re-written version of Jayquantity equality; added writing on the 7th April 2011.