Well todays been really lame, work was boring and slow and i came home to kids fighting with each other, yesterday one of my old friends apologized to me and admitted she was wrong but she always sai…

[Renie Lynn]

Well todays been really lame, work was boring and slow and i came home to kids fighting with each other, yesterday one of my old friends apologized to me and admitted she was wrong but she always said something that made me think.

 

she told me she was pissed because i let everyone walk all over me and that i'm pretty much a molded zombie of what she thinks other people wanna see of me.

in other words she said that i'm controlled and have been made into a silent sad person and a shut in person that will not talk to anyone

 

its not that i dont talk to anyone its just that i have major trust issues and i dont see how i should open my self up to everyone and not expect to get hurt again, any person i've ever been friends with has fucked me over and or just stopped talk to me.

like when i stopped smoking weed all the friends i had then stopped talkin to me because i stopped supplying the money and or weed that they had, and now i honestly have only my boyfriend and it sucks.

you cant go through life as a girl and not have girlfriends its just not easy to anyway, its not like i can talk to my boyfriend about girl problems.

 

i just dont know what to do and it really bothers me.

[Renie Lynn]

I've tried that and there's only one person at work i can actually talk to haha

and as far as me hanging out with them idk how it would happen, i wish i had my own house already.