Not much for holidays

[Nagi Naoe]

So for those who love those holidays have good ones and don't worry so much about those who don't celebrate them. It isn't about holidays its about just being with people you know and care about. Then again, I don't get that much time with my family, more I'm not sure if I want to hang out with a mother who cares more about a football game than conversation, a sister who since childhood has always been the center of attention, and well..don't know much with my father, he spent half his time hiding the garage smoking and possibly thinking of ways to make it look like he's busy.

You should see Yule at my family, Mom arguing over the fact she doesn't like Lord of the Rings and why it is my dad and my favorite treat. Then having to go to the movies and watch all three extended cuts on Christmas eve to avoid the evils of my mother's bland as hell cooking.

These and many more of the family's holiday trails, then again, who is up for hearing, "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," and also a rendition of Jigglebells that sounds more like, "Grandpa fell, grandpa fell, grandpa fell down drunk. Oh how sad to see him freeze into a chunk."

At least my grandmother isn't alive on my mother's side to see how screwed up her family got, then again, I had to wait till she passed away to donate her evil sweater from 2001 that looked so bad, that no one in their right mind could possibly think it was good to wear. We now have a term for it, it is called GIFT RAPE, a gift so bad that even if the gift is regifted it turns into a horror of the family being passed around far worse than the infamous fruit cakes.

If anyone has ever thought their family traditions are bad, one cannot forget the time my mother decided to do the Christmas Pickle, I kid you not, a bulb ornament that looks like a freaking pickle hidden in the tree, and when found, you win a gag gift. I have only one it twice in my life since that evil tradition was brought into our family and both gifts still hide in the back of a box never to be conversed over.

If you have the evil tales of holiday treasures, then again...Thanksgiving is no better.

Who ever heard of screwing up so badly a turkey and ending with two people in the hospital, supposedly, my sister and mother bought an organic bird at a butchers and somehow screwed up the recipe. Don't ask how that happened, my fiance is still not trusting Turkey since that day.

So if you have horrors to share, share away, we should all know the holidays scare us all. I'm not about to share my Black Friday Horrors.