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Today was a fairly decent day. I set up the christmas tree with my son and got it decorated. After dinner he fell asleep and i went to taylors house to chill, get out of the house really. I dunno every time i go over there yea i have fun but its just like it could be more fun if i had someone there with me, and not as in friends either. I have been single for too long or atleast thats how it seems to me. I am not used to being alone for 5 almost 6 months, and i look around and see that most of everyone has someone, even the people who really make you wonder how they even found thier mate. I try really hard not to think about this but i just cant help it.
There is this guy that i like who works near me, and hes actually a real nice guy. Which is a first for me since most of the guys i have dated have been either drug adicts or convicts. The down sides are that he is younger then i am, and i dont know if hes even available. When i talk to him he never brings up a girl that hes dating, or anything. I try to talk to him frequently to find more out about him. It works for the most part. I can see good things happen when i day dream about him, but then it gets interrupted by Don.
He is supposed to be in jail until jan. and he wrote me a letter tellin about what he has had goin on. He tells me that his new/old girl who put him in jail is expecting a baby. That kind of scares me cause i couldnt picture anyone else but me having his children. I wrote back to him 4 times cause he told me to write and he never wrote back. I wish he would communicate with me more. My son absolutly adores him, and i know a part of him feels like a dad toward my boy. We always were doing things together more then me and tony ever have. i just hope that one day everything will work itself out.
My therapist tells me not to worry about finding a guy right now and that i have to focus on myself. But she doesnt get that with out some one there constantly encourageing me i cant flourish. I have always excelled with a companion. I feel like im falling apart, that there is a huge part of me is missing. My best friend hasnt acknowledged me since his ex came crawling back. i keep reaching out to him and he isnt reaching back. I dont know maybe im just helpless
There is this guy that i like who works near me, and hes actually a real nice guy. Which is a first for me since most of the guys i have dated have been either drug adicts or convicts. The down sides are that he is younger then i am, and i dont know if hes even available. When i talk to him he never brings up a girl that hes dating, or anything. I try to talk to him frequently to find more out about him. It works for the most part. I can see good things happen when i day dream about him, but then it gets interrupted by Don.
He is supposed to be in jail until jan. and he wrote me a letter tellin about what he has had goin on. He tells me that his new/old girl who put him in jail is expecting a baby. That kind of scares me cause i couldnt picture anyone else but me having his children. I wrote back to him 4 times cause he told me to write and he never wrote back. I wish he would communicate with me more. My son absolutly adores him, and i know a part of him feels like a dad toward my boy. We always were doing things together more then me and tony ever have. i just hope that one day everything will work itself out.
My therapist tells me not to worry about finding a guy right now and that i have to focus on myself. But she doesnt get that with out some one there constantly encourageing me i cant flourish. I have always excelled with a companion. I feel like im falling apart, that there is a huge part of me is missing. My best friend hasnt acknowledged me since his ex came crawling back. i keep reaching out to him and he isnt reaching back. I dont know maybe im just helpless
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