I like him But I love him..

[Cassidy Joerger]

I told him things that i normally dont tell a guy. I let him in my heart, and showed him a side that I usually dont let a guy see. He promised he would give me the world if he could. I swore this wasnt just a summer romance. Everybody could see I was Falling in Love. I guess not him. That summer I swore I found the guy I was gonna marry. My friends all said awh such a cute couple. I knew I was feeling something I normally dont feel for a guy. I knew things were different with him. I told him everything even the one thing I usually dont tell guys unless I really love them. He didnt look at me different. I thought he was falling in love with me.

 

One day changed everything. He got a phone call, that his grandpa died. He had to leave my arms behind. I thought things weren't gonna change. I mean we planned our future out. He went back home. Things changed not for the better either. I mean when he went home he called me like 3 times a day, then it turned into once a day, then I had to call him. I felt him slipping through my fingers. I realized this realtionship was coming to a end. That one phone call at 9 p.m lasted till 11 p.m I felt the surrow in my voice I didnt wanna let him go, but I knew this summer love was coming to an end a month and half of being together.

 

I quickly found someone new, he sorta was like him. He was carefree, funny, but he was a celeb's little brother. But I determined to make this work for us. That didnt last long at all.

 

I was about to start a new school, since I moved. I saw sooo many cute/hott guys. One in praticular, well he quickly became one of my best guy friends. We dated broke up week later dated again that lasted 3 weeks until he started being a jackass. Then I heard rumors he cheated on me. I knew they were true just cause he changed his realtionship status the next day to in a realtionship with _____________. I got pissed.

 

I then realized I liked this guy that quickly replaced that guy. He was sweet funny and I swore liked me back, but of course not. He had his eye on another girl. He was pretty much, everything that I ever wanted in a guy. I was quickly falling in love with him. I felt things for him that I didnt even wanna feel because I knew if I felt those things I would get hurt again just like I did that summer. I guess it didnt matter to my heart. 

 

Christmas Break came and wow this guy was always on mind and he was like my best guy friend. We just jumped into a realtionship. His bestfriend hated that we were together. So he told him that I was flirting with his friend and I wanted to go out with him. A bunch of lies. He broke up with me on Christmas Eve. I was heartbroken.

 

We went back to school and the boy of my dreams was right there. I knew this guy I was never gonna lose feelings for. Stupid Boy let me go. 

 

This sixth grader, wow he was so cute and we dated after me and the boy that cheated on me broke up we went out. I gave him everything but everytime it was just never enough he always wanted more. He cheated on me 3 times. I realized I couldnt take him back anymore. I was done.

 

Me and the one I dated over christmas break got back together but he cheated and he made it obvious and I couldnt do that so I broke up with him.

 

I finally meet someone I couldnt live without he was special and he was so sweet. He was my redneck romeo. I never wanted to let him but, I found out he had a child and he was only 15, wow what was I getting myself into. I knew this would change us. But it didnt. I see myself falling for him hard, but no one could ever replace the guy from the summer.

 

I'm still falling for him hard. I never wanna let him go.  He has my heart and I cant believe we left things the way we did. I wish we didnt walk away. I wonder where we would be today if we were still together. And I didnt have a boy and he didnt have a girl. I wonder where we would be if I was his girl and he was my boy, and we were unseperable. I always think what if. If I was still crazy about his love. I wonder what the holdays would be like with him by my side. I wonder what we would be today. 

 

I never wanna let him down because he was the one I said he was always gonna be my boy/ He said he would never hurt me like he did. I miss him like crazy not even kidding. I cant wait for this summer to rekindle our friendship. But still I have a boy and he has a girl so, I hope this summer we become great friend.

 

 

xxx, Cass