he's freaky

[Audrey]

michael is a mean bastard. i don't ever wanna see him again. i think there's something wrong with him. my friends have a strong dislike for him. my parents only want him to be around because they're afraid their daughter is a lesbian. truth of the matter is, i am. i only forced myself to be with him because i want to prove that i can lead a hetero life and deny my attraction to women.

i don't dream of men. i dream of women.

anyway, that's not the point. i'm writing this because i hate michael, but at the same time, i'm afraid of him, too. i don't know what to do. i dumped him not only because he's a horrible kisser, he also never tells me how he appreciates my beauty. c'mon, every girl wants to be praised by the person they're dating. instead of focusing on my goodness, he kept pointing out how i have bags under my eyes and that i need more sleep. blah blah blah. all he ever talks about is his chicken business and how much he earns. as if the whole world should bow before him. i can't believe i dated a douchebag. i'm glad i dumped him. no girl should ever go through what i did. sure, he provided me material things, but he fails miserably in the "love" and "sensitive" departments.

i hate michael!!!!!!!!

i don't ever wanna see him ever again, but i can't just ignore him like i did the first time. i dumped him on july 31, 2010. after that, i did not answer his calls or SMSes. i didn't have to prove my point. i know it's my fault for breaking the relationship off so suddenly after only accepting him the previous week. i dumped him for very good reasons:

1. no chemistry
2. he talks shitty stuff like his business all the friggin time
3. he uses hand gestures way too much when he speaks he even spilled his drink once. serves him right then. he spilled it all over himself, looked like he peed in his pants. i should've laughed at him should i know he'd turn out to be a douchebag.
4. he has that annoyingly high-pitched voice that reverberates in your ears even minutes after he speaks. especially when he gets overexcited.
   
5. he sleeps in the cinema (during a movie i mean)
   
6. he doesn't laugh at the funny scenes in the cinema. i always had to laugh alone. not that i mind but it's like he's not really watching the movie, or he doesn't get the humour of it.
7. he keeps repeating himself like a broken record, seriously. i think i've heard the same story over and over and over again
8. he makes me feel uncomfortable
9. he's very fake. doesn't show his true colours. his true colours are not beautiful, sorry to say. so far he's proving to be a psycho ex.
10. i could never have a good time around him, i could feel a very bad vibe comin from him.
11. he NEVER once made me feel beautiful.
12. he talks as if he's only with me to bear him children
13. he's using me to make his mother happy. as if i'm a trophy
14. he likes to make comparison between himself and other unlucky people who aren't as well-off as he is.
    
15. he makes the lousiest of metaphors.
16. he holds grudges
17. unlike Christians, he doesn't forgive easy. he still holds a grudge on his father who led him to have a blacklist on his name. long story. he's a buddhist.
    
18. my friends dislike him very much

...the list goes on.

i will NEVER be an item with him ever. he's horrible for still wanting to get back at me for dumping him. he posted how he wanted to kill me first and then himself so we can "die together" on my FB profile page, after. he previously texted me saying he wants to "get back" at me and "KILL me". even though he added "just kidding" at the end of the text, i was still freaked out. i was even more freaked out by his FB posts. he's a wack. i don't think i can ignore him. i need to remain friends, or else i think he's capable of doing the unpredictable. i leave this one in the hands of God. i think something horrible is bound to happen. i have this nagging feeling that won't go away. it's horrible.

when i didnt answers his texts or calls, he stalked me at my home. sent me flowers and cried in front of me. after the incident we met twice. tonight was the second time, for his 32nd b'day. i couldn't let him celebrate alone. and i promised to spend the night with him. when he talked about revenge it stirred something in me. it also was a hint as to what he might be thinking. i know what he wants: REVENGE. he wants me to pay for the pain that he felt. where has he been all this while? has he not felt the pain of love before? even though it's his first time, there's a first for everything. what an immature asshole. as if i deserve all the balem for dumping him.

leave me alone, michael. leave me alone.

[Audrey]

@Stefanie: why do u want his number?

[Stefanie]

Can I have his number?

[Audrey]

@ozzy: lol he's still hoping for a chance with me. gave me till monday to make up my mind, whether to accept him or not. to re-accept him, i mean. i don't know. the answer is still a "no". he's under control for the time being so i don't have to move that far away haha

@scott: hahaha his metaphors are silly. one time he used chewing gum as a metaphor of how i "used" him.

[Audrey]

@ozzy: yeah!!! it's very disturbing...