(updated 11-09-10)



Of bands I created in about 5 mins. (the first 3)



Mustachioed Fury - Epic power metal band. All band members are required to have glorious 'staches. Failure to maintain 'stache at glorious level will result in immediate expulsion from band and possibly death.



Hyper-Sonic Hillbilly Assault - Bluegrass infused blackened-thrash metal band. Banjo and mandolin replace lead guitar, with rhythm guitar staying present in a reduced role.… Continue

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So today while walking home from a lady friend's house I saw a figure in the fog. As I got closer I noticed it was a pigeon. It was odd, as pigeons don't normally wander this far west in this town. Stranger still was the fact that it was by itself just walking down the sidewalk. Curious, I kept walking towards him, and him me. As I approached him, he cocked his head and cooed. I wasn't quite sure what to do and just said "sup" and kept walking. He did as well. In retrospect, it was quite… Continue

Decided that I need a girlfriend or at the very least a fwb

Requirements:

A vagina that tastes like blue gummi sharks. Gummi bears or peaches are also acceptable

Beer flavored lips. Preference would be towards Guinness or Amber Bock.

Nipples that double as cigarettes if and when I choose to suck/puff on them. Marlboro 27's please

The ability to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

Has to be able to cook

Oh almighty groovy dancing banana man. I once again had the privilege of seeing the majesty of your funky banana moves. You are the lord of the groove. Dancing Jesus resurrected in radical banana form. Dude...basically you rock. I will one day join you in a orgy of bitchin' dancing fun. Until that day, boogie on banana man....boogie on.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My life according to (band name)."



Pick your Artist:

Green Carnation



Are you a male or female:

The Boy in the Attic



Describe yourself:

Dead But Dreaming



How do you feel:

Shattered



Describe where… Continue

So I was out a few days ago and I happened to run into a man dressed in a banana suit.

He was dancing in front of a store.

It was pretty sweet, and I'm not gonna lie when I tell you that I wanted to join him. That shit was infectious.

Trouble is that when got home I had a sudden realization. It had been about 102 degrees that day.

Dancing banana man could have been suffering a heat stroke, when I simply thought he was getting funky.

For all I know, he's laying out there… Continue

Is it really so hard to speak in proper English?

Honestly why do these aforementioned people feel the need to slaughter out language?

All typing like that serves to accomplish is making you look like an retard that would rather beat themselves over the head with a lead pipe rather than pay attention in English class.

Basically you show the world how much of an uneducated fool you are simply by typing a few words.

You wonder why your ghetto ass gets made fun of can't… Continue

So if I abort a fetus does that mean that when I die and go to "Hell" that my malformed fetal hell-spawn will be waiting for me in the abyss?
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Come to daddy, you freakish little bastard.....
I missed you......and now we'll be together forever..........

I'm bored so I thought I'd share a couple of my favorite songwriters and their music. Music is one of the few things that keeps me somewhat sane though I'm sure people would argue the opposite considering some of the crazy shit I listen to



Steve Wilson (Porcupine Tree, Blackfield, and countless other bands)

On the OSI track he does guest vocals (long song but the second half is… Continue