"I've turned her into a monster. We never gave her treats, so I started giving her honey ham. Now I can't even go near the fridge without her flipping a wig."
"My cat watches me.
She never stops. I turn, Shmona Lisa, eyeballing me. I'm watching King of the Hill, Mona's watching me. I'm baking muffins, Mona's grilling me with her big green eyes."