"I won't dispute that. My mother is a demented sponge."

"your mom is an idiot"

"I love ridiculously stupid poetry"

"Fuckin' lol I think I just got a stiffie."

"My mom tried to murder me in the womb. If that isn't sweet, I don't know what is."

"hah. is she hot?"

"LOL she also just gave me cash for helping out around the house i think shes gonna go in for the kill soon"

"if you can vote and you want to work and take care of yourself, it works both ways... expecting a man to do something for you is sexist, just like me expecting a woman to make me a sandwich is sexist so if you want to say a man has certain…"

"wining and dining you huh...im pretty sure i can figure out what's next."

"I make it how it says to on the box. :)"

"thats something I way havnt done sense I was a kid put a hot dog in mac n cheese! lol Ideas are everywere ! lol"

"UGH I am forever scarred from mac and cheese. When my dad was in the ICU for a year and a half that's all I fucking ate so every time I smell it or even TRY to tatse it I feel sick and almost gag."