Bi-Sexual Friend
Alright so I work with a girl that i've become friends with. She revealed to me about 2 weeks into our friendship that she is bi-sexual. I'm totally fine with that. She has a boyfriend who is currently going through a divorce with his wife (it's been taking a long time because his soon to be ex wife is abusive and manipulative, but this guy started seeing my friend 6 months after it was filed). She doesn't get to see him very much because of this. Soon I find out that she has very few friends. We live right across the street from eachother. She knocks on my door several times a week and says shes lonely and needs to wind down. While I can appreciate this, I have a boyfriend and rarely get to spend time with him during the day...all we have is the evening hours. The main part of my question is this...everytime we hang out she makes a point to either touch my shoulder, pat my back, pat my head, touch me in some fashion. My other girlfriends don't do this. Its made me very uncomfortable hanging out with her. I don't want to judge too quickly, but also don't really want to hangout with ehr anymore because of this. What should I do about it?
One Love
Let me ask you this... If she hadn't told you she was bisexual, would you have given any of this a second thought? I think you should watch how she acts around other people at work. Maybe she's just that kind of person? I don't think you should say anything to her unless you know for sure.
Sep 26, 2012
Melinda Chen
sounds terrible
Sep 26, 2012
qwertygirl
If you aren't comfortable with her level of physical contact, tell her. You have a right to only be touched when you want to be touched.
However, I don't think her sexuality is necessarily relevant here. Most of my female friends are physical people: we hug, kiss, touch each other without there being a sexual element to it at all.
Just tell her you're not comfortable with being touched as often as she does, and let it go. If she continues, then she's being disrespectful, but until she knows, she's only operating on her own perception of what is a reasonable amount of physical contact between two friends.
Oct 8, 2012