a letter

A letter to the 13 year old at the shops in the bold Halfway (my town):

Dear mini troglodyte that in the near future will grow up to be a fully fledged member of the arsehole race,

When I walk past you on the street and you address me as "hey missus...." I would like to inform you that any request that follows will be swiftly DENIED ! whether it be for your 10 mayfair and packet of skins or the 2ltr bottle of cat piss cider that you "want tae get puuyoorrrr mad wae it on" it really makes no difference to me you little should-have-been-a-simba-mark-on-your-slagbag-maws-forehead!

And here is further advice for you, after I have denied your request please refrain from your insults.... I don't care that you think I am a "fat rat" or that I am a "specky cow", it doesn't endear you to me and any hope you might have had if I were possibly on the fence has now been destroyed and still you wont be getting those fags or booze :).

However, it also endangers your future because I may possibly ,and with every right, decide to one day boot you so hard in your tiny scrotum that the one functioning sperm you haven't destroyed in your inevitable drug taking,drinking or both for that infamous mwi experience will be totally and utterly destroyed and so will your chance of the "cooncil hoose" your planning on getting with brittney-marie-danika-chelsea a.k.a your baby mamma.

Yours Sincerely

Lel

P.S- GO FUCK YOURSELF