I'm writing the best movie of all time
I have just written the best Hollywood Blockbuster film ever that would sweep the cinemas and DVD sales for years to come. The basic premise is this:
A genius professor (Steve Buscemi) has just invented a cure for cancer. HOWEVER, in exchange for his recipe, he is demanding 100 children between the ages of four and six who he wants to fuck in his big castle. Morgan Freeman (who plays the President of America) comes on TV to give a press conference. The world and everyone wonders what this press conference is about.
"Mr President, Mr President, what's this all about?!"
He calms them down.
"Calm down - I'll explain everything. Everyone just settle down. [They settle down and he begins] Earlier today we received a phone call...." He then explains what's happened with this professor who has invented a cure for cancer.
There is a flurry of questions and noise. "Mr President! Mr President!" "Mr President!"
He calms them down again.
He then explains how the leaders of the world have decided to respond. There will be a lottery in which a hundred children from around the world will be chosen at random for the professor to take to his sex castle and molest - and in return the world will get a cure for cancer. Morgan Freeman then explains how, "...there will be no panic...no stock piling of food....prices will remain the same....everyone will report to football stadiums in an orderly manner where they will receive their tickets for the lottery..."
He finishes his talk by saying the words "God speed".
During his report of what will happen we cut to a child watching with her family back home. "Mummy, I hope we win the lottery - we'll be rich won't we?"
There will be shots of people at home watching the broadcast - different nationalities in different countries, people sitting vigil by someone with cancer in a hospital ward, all watching hearing how America and the countries of the world have decided to respond to the demands of the professor who wants to have sex with four year old children in exchange for his recipe.
Sub-plots:
"Mr President, Mr President, what's this all about?!"
He calms them down.
"Calm down - I'll explain everything. Everyone just settle down. [They settle down and he begins] Earlier today we received a phone call...." He then explains what's happened with this professor who has invented a cure for cancer.
There is a flurry of questions and noise. "Mr President! Mr President!" "Mr President!"
He calms them down again.
He then explains how the leaders of the world have decided to respond. There will be a lottery in which a hundred children from around the world will be chosen at random for the professor to take to his sex castle and molest - and in return the world will get a cure for cancer. Morgan Freeman then explains how, "...there will be no panic...no stock piling of food....prices will remain the same....everyone will report to football stadiums in an orderly manner where they will receive their tickets for the lottery..."
He finishes his talk by saying the words "God speed".
During his report of what will happen we cut to a child watching with her family back home. "Mummy, I hope we win the lottery - we'll be rich won't we?"
There will be shots of people at home watching the broadcast - different nationalities in different countries, people sitting vigil by someone with cancer in a hospital ward, all watching hearing how America and the countries of the world have decided to respond to the demands of the professor who wants to have sex with four year old children in exchange for his recipe.
Sub-plots:
- One of the aides to the president (William H Macy) will be going to get his balls checked. He has found a lump and it could be malignant.
- There will also be a female aide (Norita) who has found a lump on her tits.
- They both get them checked and get their results back on the same day. The lady's lump is benign - it's just a cyst. The guy's is cancer though and it's malignant. They hug in a corridor of the Pentagon. "It's gonna be okay....it's gonna be okay" the girl says as they hug.
- As a back up plan, Ben Affleck is sent in to try and get the recipe from the professor with a crack squad of marines and a maverick lab worker, who is now a biker (Bruce Willis), who once worked in histopathology cancer research lab years ago, but then went to live on a trailer and became an alcoholic cos he just couldn't deal with losing patients all the time. At one point, (after they've made an amphibious landing at night on a small dinghy all dressed in black), Ben Affleck tells a sad anecdote to his marines about how when he was at school his best friend - who was the best player on the basketball team. He got cancer and had chemo and not only lost his hair, but also lost his spot on the team and his chance to make the interstate championships. They then check everyone knows what they're doing and they lock and load.
- One of the presidents aides' kids will have been selected for the train. Morgan Freeman will say, "I'm sorry Iain. You know....we can do things....we can pull strings." Iain says, "No. Ryan was picked and that's what we're gonna do. If we don't play by the rules of democracy, then what are we even doing this for? Because this ain't an America I wanna be part of. If Ryan don't get on that train....well then Sir - I may as well go and live in Russia."
- Norita volunteers her children in a noble gesture, saying "If it takes a hundred kids getting fucked to stop this disease then so be it. If it took a thousand kids to get fucked by this professor then it's worth it.".
Meanwhile...
The lottery results have been announced. Shots of a mother holding a winning ticket, staring at the TV screen and then back at the ticket in her hand.
Cut to some chaotic shots of jeeps and military personnel and some shots of some parents saying goodbye to their kids who have been selected by the lottery as they have to board a train. When they're taking too long the marines hurry them up and move the parents away, "This is a restricted area! Come on let's move!"
There is one kid who is sixteen - a rebellious kid who wears a leather jacket and drives a low powered motorbike. He drives his four year old sister away and manages to get away from the marines who are chasing him.
'Malignant Two Zero' is a brilliant film. A true blockbuster.
Will the world get a cure for cancer? Will the professor get his hundred kids to have sex with?
Who is on board with me to make this dream a reality???
Konnor
Sent on a mission from the french and his own personal dream to be fulfilled once more in a castle wonderland. He is determined to steal the professor's cure through a little game we call seduction. Although his age is a bit higher than what is favored he lures the professor to an enchanted ball pit (much like the ones at mcdonalds) for a game of 'find the hidden boy' when unexpevtantly the bottom of the pit is filled with venomous chinchillas whose bite temporarily comatizes their victim.
Apr 22, 2010
Chester
Apr 22, 2010
Chester
Apr 23, 2010