The man in the rain...and whatever happens after

Written by Nicole, Konnor, Anna, Bent, Kotonashi, (let me know if I left your name out): i was walking in the rain and I saw a sign that said Bolt.com then i read it so, i decided to see what the hubaloo was all about I walk in and saw a young girl the young girl pretended to be a porn star I called her miss jailbait She was wearing underwear that didn't match and posing in a unwashed mirror I think I saw her picture once before from failblog where she was an active member So I did the only reasonable thing I sent her a friend request she replied, asking if I have webcam and informed me for only $10 I can have a live show but there is a free 3-day trial and i said, care for a cigarette? she said "my parents won't let me smoke" when she gave me a preview I saw she had a mysterious bulge... So I asked what kind of site was this i thought the bulge was kinda awesome but it worried me Turns out it was a gerbil i asked her about it She said she used it to keep warm since she didn't have pubic hair i asked if the gerbil had a name, she said "yes...Usermap" I suddenly noticed that the gerbil also had a bulge "usermap?" he said. "does this mean it leads you somewhere?" i wanted to follow its directions but they were confusing Because I couldn't read Japanese so i grabbed my sword she asked if the sword could be used to kill her baby's daddy he was behind on those payments again and has it coming to him Who was a magical troll named Bob from Minnesota the land of that jerkoff favre Bob was on the Bolt watch list as a sex offender for a long time and banned from coming 100 yards of chucky cheese or a school.... He was fond of watching old Hanson videos e thought they were Hanson girls and listening to miley he thought the girl with the gerbil looked like miley and it made him feel all warm and tingly inside He would touch him self for hours while eating grilled cheese sandwiches watching her and Usermap and after one statement, he realized he owed his credit card company over $1,000 for visiting the website that no good scamming bitch so i grabbed my sword and looked up their ip address which was also magical but not from Minnesota and booked a ticket to visit them so i hopped the plain and hid my sword so they wouldn't suspect i'm a terrorist though I had meant to travel by plane but the plains would suffice I mounted a limping stallion That hadn't been updated to the current year and that was all in Japanese But luckily I had worked as a geisha once at a 2 dollar whore house in LA So I would atleast be able to offer a 6 mins hand job to a travelling Japanese salesman in exchange for a translation unfortunately i just learned the bad words, which didn't help, but i seduced a japanese man to show me the way so i grabbed his sword and threatened to cut off his fingers if he didn't fix the GPS it worked, and he set my gps To Minnesoate because he had mistaken Bob from Minnesota has having actually been from Minneisota unfortunately because of the threat, he added a tracking device to my gps which means the japanese govt was following me but i didn't know this In Giant Robots no less so i rode my horse along the dusty trail My only hope was to find a group of teenagers that wore color specific clothing and also rode giant robots but i had to stop at Hotel California - with mirrors on the ceiling and pink champagne on ice I stayed too long and the boys of summer where all gone so i rented a girl and told her to shutupp and get on my horse she took off her clothes and got on me when i was sleeping Which isnt a sword at all but a Japanese buisnessman's middle finger I woke up to her grinding on my knee...I looked down and noticed that she had a ... and i woke up to a terrible feeling BULGE! so i grabbed my sword and she started carressing it Before I had a chance to react the corpse of the Japanese buisnessman was flung through the window ed to make tracks anyways, have a scammer to destroy credits rool Cue weird Italian love theme hahaha to be continued..... would be better than some movies i have watched, lol Imagine it in Imax I can see the trailer now A man with a past A girl with a bulge A stranger with a sword In this strange land of mystery they will all come together on The Road to Minnesota Starring Miley Cyrus