I do not want to hold grudges, do not want to be angry, do not want to have anger in my heart. I want only peace, only peace. Do not wanna weep for those who do not deserve. It's so hard to think about how much I donated, how much I dedicated myself, at how faithful I was a friend, that was only on solid ground in my mind. It's so hard to believe how stupid I was, not wanting to believe what was on the surface. I saw, but deep down would rather believe it was not actually at the bottom, rather feed a good feeling, than face the pain, or the reality that I face today. Now and then makes me feel a little pain there in the background. And anger that makes me sick. So I want to get rid of it, but it is so hard!
I want to get rid of things that make me evil, but they insist on wanting to stay. I've learned my lesson! Have matured! I can not just remember all this as a part of my life that contributed to my growth and psychological development without affecting my person? Not stay with a sinking heart?
XO! I remember this part only when unavoidable ... And still I try to remember without hurting myself again.
want to get rid
by Seline
Mar 2, 2012
I do not want to hold grudges, do not want to be angry, do not want to have anger in my heart. I want only peace, only peace. Do not wanna weep for those who do not deserve. It's so hard to think about how much I donated, how much I dedicated myself, at how faithful I was a friend, that was only on solid ground in my mind. It's so hard to believe how stupid I was, not wanting to believe what was on the surface. I saw, but deep down would rather believe it was not actually at the bottom, rather feed a good feeling, than face the pain, or the reality that I face today. Now and then makes me feel a little pain there in the background. And anger that makes me sick. So I want to get rid of it, but it is so hard!
I want to get rid of things that make me evil, but they insist on wanting to stay. I've learned my lesson! Have matured! I can not just remember all this as a part of my life that contributed to my growth and psychological development without affecting my person? Not stay with a sinking heart?
XO! I remember this part only when unavoidable ... And still I try to remember without hurting myself again.