Opinions?

[sdhsfjskkgjksghk]

  I love my boyfriend very much. I'm sick of people not believing this, simply because I am fourteen. I know in my heart that what I feel for him is real love. So, I want to get some outside opinions on my situation. I've come here because I cannot tell my friends. Either I know they aren't mature enough to handle it, or they simply wouldn't want to hear about it.

  In the past few months, my boyfriend (who is fifteen) and I have been growing closer and closer. We truly care for one another, and we are very supportive of each other. We have a strong emotional relationship, but lately our physical relationship has rocketed forward as well. We have done many things with one other, including both manual and oral sex. And lately, we've talked a lot more about actually having sex. We really, really want it. And I know if we had a few hours alone, it would probably happen.

  I feel ready for it. I really do. My mother has told me more than once that, though she doesn't necessarily believe that everyone should wait until marriage for sex, I should be much older, and it must be with someone I truly love. Well, I love him. I would do just about anything for him. And while I may be young, it doesn't seem that way. I don't feel the same age as my friends, though I am. I am confident in myself, and I don't like to let what others think affect me. But sometimes, when it comes to decisions like this, I can't help it.

  People have such a negative outlook on sex. It's obvious why. There are so many teenagers out there making stupid mistakes. They hardly know what it is, but they participate in it anyway, and get stuck with an STD or a pregnancy. Or, they do it to make themselves feel better, and end up hurt and emotionally scarred in the process. I'm not one of those people, and I know this. But what still bothers me is the fact that people would look down on me for having sex, even if it is for the right reasons. Even my friends would be shocked and disgusted with me if they were to find out. Hell, they would be shocked and disgusted if they knew what my boyfriend and I have done so far. However, I have no regrets. Everything we've done, we've been ready for, and it has been a positive experience for us both.

  So, do you think it would be wrong if we were to do it? That because of our age we cannot handle it? Or do you think we should go for it if we're ready?

 

 Thanks. (: x

 

[PhonyMcRingRing]

Most of the girls I know lost their virginity around that age. It probably won't mess you up for life, but i'm pretty positive that it won't be the special amazing pure experience you think it'll be (losing your virginity rarely is. There's nothing beautiful about the skillset two virgins bring to the bedroom. You probably won't start having decent sex till your mid 20s). It probably won't improve your relationship. I thought i was in love at that age too. In retrospect, I was just really horny.

I am advising you to wait till you are 17, which is the correct age to lose your virginity, but I doubt you'll listen to me. Whatever. Use condoms. Read the directions carefully. Try to get on the pill too if your parents aren't huge freaks. If they are, lie to them and tell them it's to reduce acne and menstrual pain. Don't fake orgasms - you'll be faking them for the rest of the relationship because he won't have any incentive to improve. Don't do it drunk or stoned at first, and try not to freak out if he cant get hard, goes soft, or finishes early - male performance improves over time, but not in a hostile psychological environment.

[redheadfury]

I'm definitely not going to condone having sex at the age of 14, but I am going to say do it when you're ready. Fully ready. When you don't have to ask for outside opinions and when you're not "unsure" of anything. Sex complicates things. Especially at such a young age. When you're in your 20's, you'll laugh at yourself now and love how naive you were. Everyone does.

[PJAAI4]

Nishi, if what you say is true, then you should be able to wait.  If you really are mature enough then you should know that you are moving to quickly.  Give the relationship another year or two to develop, then you will know if he is your lifemate.

[twistedtink]

Sorry to sound trite, but sex is a huge step.  It can also make or break relationships, and these days most people don't act like it's that big of a deal, but it is.  You posting this thread shows that, to you, it is a big deal.  But it doesn't mean you are necessarily ready to go through with it.  Hear me out, before you react negatively to that.

 

You said that you love each other, and I believe to some extent you do.  I'm not trying to make you angry, or to drive you to make some massive change because of what I am about to say.  You are young.  At 14, you are only beginning to become who you will be as an adult.  Right now, you are merely a fraction of what you will be when you are 18 or 21 or 28.  What I mean:  People change a lot while growing up.  Needs, priorities, and wants change.  That said, by the time you both graduate, you will probably be completely different people than you are now.  I didn't notice if you said how long you've been together, but if this worked out for a long term thing that lasted through high school, your goals after school could inevitably separate you.  Everything I've said up to this point is just from a realistic prospective on relationships.  Odds are against the both of you that what you have will last after graduation.  Your relationship could be different, but still that's something you have to aware of and consider.  I didn't find out completely who I was until I was 25.

 

Now, about sex.  You've heard all about everything that could go wrong, so I'm not going to bother going there.  Have you talked to your Mom about what you are thinking?  From what you said, I'm assuming she is someone you can go to.  You really should, she can really be a huge ally in this.  It is a big decision, and if you decide to go through with it, she can help get you what you need to protect yourself.  She is also a great person to talk to about trying to decide if you are ready.  The fact that you are asking this at all kind of makes me think that you aren't 100% ready at this point.  Your mom can answer any questions you may have, too.  The first time is not always a pleasant time, that's why you have to be sure you are ready.  Also, you only get the “first time” once.  A lot of people regret how their first time went, and it sticks in the back of your mind forever.

 

Talk to your mom.  Tell her all of your concerns and fears and ask all of your questions.  If you feel that you are ready afterwards, you should still have a talk with your boyfriend.  He needs to know that this is a big deal and really important to you before you go through with it.  Only when you both have said everything you feel you need to say (and looked into birth control options and what not) can you truly be sure if you are ready.  

 

tl:dr lol

[Cannon]

Ok, for one sex, does not take a few hours like people say in movies so if you have time to give each other oral and manual sex, you'll have time for regular sex, especially if youre both virgins. Also, I think youre kind of young to be making this decision, sex in itself isnt a big deal but the consequences that could occur from having sex are a big deal. Think about it, if your condom breaks and you get pregnant would you be ok with having a (his) baby, do you love him that much? But if you have to think about it and ask advice, you must not be ready. Having sex with guy wont affect any of the people on this website, it will only be you. But as teenagers, your are very hormonal and passionate, and what may seem like a good idea now, may not seem like one later.

[isaah06]

Thats well said, but most likely too late by now...

[Star]

shes totally given it up by now...