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Random stupid sayings I found.


I just took a few things that real people said. oh shit cause those fake peole are liers.


When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,


When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really NASTY- I always eat stuff I hate.


When your watching a movie and the scene is someone hanging off of somthing and people scream, " Dont let go''! Does them telling you that make you hold on harder?


Someone comes to your home and sees your litter box and says "Oh, have you got a cat"? "No its for my kids"


Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?" Witness: "By death." Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?" Well shit lets think about it for a second.


Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?" Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."


Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."


Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

Tags: brain, funny, hang, hold, laugh, lawyer, questions, stupid, watch

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